Seven deadly sinners

 by Amanda Fruzynski
 published on Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Editor's note: I was complaining about having to write another editorial, when Amanda decided it would be fun to list SPM's seven deadly sins. She already had a Word document open, so I let her take over. Enjoy!

Pride: You don't ever get to see any part of us besides our bylines, but we're a bunch of hotties working down here in the basement. We know we're pretty damn good looking … have you noticed how many photos we've been in? And every time our face (or other body part) makes it into the mag, you can bet there was a five-hour photo shoot beforehand: "Please, Sam. I look like Abe Lincoln in that one!"

Lust: See above. Between seven hot editors and more sexy writers and photographers, there's a whole lot of flirting, innuendoes and lust going on, and I sometimes worry about walking in on an orgy in the SPM office. We all have our own personal boy-toy on staff.

Greed: Down at SPM, we get paid about $4 an hour … before taxes. So, when we hear about kids getting internships at all those well-paid, real-world (but really boring) papers, we feel a bit of greed. But this magazine is a labor of love.

Envy: We're jealous that people advertise more in the daily paper than in us. We (think we) get picked up just as much or more than your average college-geared magazine. Plus, we have a sexier staff (see "Pride").

Gluttony: We eat a lottttttt down here. We basically work across the street from Panda Express and Lorenzo's pizza. We have a mini fridge, Nicole keeps bringing in cherry Kisses and Celeste just opened up a box of Teddy Grahams. Num nums.

Sloth: Hey, we're still a bunch of college kids. We wait until the last minute to write our stories, turn them in, edit them and add some photos. Most of the time spent in the basement is used on gossip (see "Lust"), eating (see "Gluttony"), bitching (see "Greed") and thanking our lucky stars that at least we can all be sinners together.

Wrath: After a whole lot of procrastinating, we end up staying in the basement until late into the night and passing the blame for who screwed up what this issue. There's a lot of yelling that goes on behind closed doors. In the end, we always put out a magazine that we love … and that you hopefully love too. And what always comes after any good fight? Make up sex (see "Lust," again).