Opinions: Cha-ching

 published on Thursday, April 10, 2008

You know on old "Looney Tunes" sketches when the characters would start getting a little greedy and would have their pupils make the improbable transformation into dollar signs and their mouths morph into a cash register?

If you don't know what we're talking about, we pity your childhood.

If you do know, well, we hate to say it, but you should probably start preparing your facial region for a likely agonizing adjustment, because the following news will make you want to follow suit with your favorite cartoon characters:

When the Government Accountability Office's report came out this week in regards to inappropriate (see: unauthorized or just plain policy-breaking) expenditures by federal employees on their government credit and debit cards, it gave us a not-so-pleasant account of where our tax money has gone.

According to their study, nearly half of the money spent on the cards in 2006 was done improperly.

Furthermore, government agencies had trouble accounting for nearly $2 million in items such as laptops, iPods and digital cameras.

But wait, there's more — some items charged to government cards included but were not limited to: More iPods for all. Internet dating service fees for a postmaster — a postmaster who, according to CNN, also found trouble for accessing pornographic sites on government computers. Expensive clothing totaling $77,000 for the Department of Defense from stores such as Brooks Brothers and Talbots. A $13,500 Ruth Chris Steakhouse dinner for U.S. Postal Service employees at a Florida postal forum (including more than 200 appetizer orders and 40 bottles of wine and liquor good for about $3,000 in alcohol alone). And $360 worth of lingerie paid for by the State Department for use during "jungle training" by "trainees of a drug enforcement program in Ecuador."

If this doesn't draw your ire as a taxpayer, we're not sure what would. We don't even know what to think, you know, other than holding people accountable for their actions. And just because these people are government employees doesn't excuse their poor judgment.

Unfortunately, there's no easy fix to prevent these lists from getting more and more shocking in the future — according to the GAO's study, about 300,000 government employees use purchase cards. Obviously, there's no way it makes sense to punish the vast majority of cardholders since most use their power responsibly. And that's especially true considering the cost of regulating the spending will lessen the efficiency surrounding federal purchasing.

However, as any good editorial should, we're willing to offer some solutions: All-around better use of judgment and generally being less of a jerk to taxpayers aside, we would love to see the number of cardholders cut down to a more reasonable level. If you keep carrying forward with 300,000 strong, you're bound to find a few rotten eggs.

At the end of the day, it would make so much more sense for every department to find their special someone to wield the power of federal expenses — and speaking of special someones, there's a certain postmaster we think would agree with our resolution of seeking out our one and only.