Opinions: A series of rhetorical questions for fools

 by Kevin King
 published on Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Last week, Rep. Russell Pearce, R-Mesa, proposed that public schools and universities in Arizona be barred from teaching values that contradict those of American and Western civilization. Well, great, I can't think of a single case in history when such a law was passed and something bad happened. Can you?

I'm not going to talk about the difficulties of defining what would be an American versus an un-American thing to say or teach — that would be wasting paper, which, coincidentally, is a very un-American thing to do. Instead, I want to focus on something more critical to the discussion: the type of person who would suggest such a law.

Anyone who thinks this law would be a good idea must not care very much for this country and its people. As a solution, they offer up one of the most unpatriotic things that could ever be suggested, which is for the people who disagree to shut up.
Pearce and his supporters see Americans saying and doing things that they don't like. In the universities, they are talking about the cost of war and the state of the economy, and they might even read books about boys kissing.

The answer to this, in the minds of fools, is to control what takes place in the classroom, which they know to be a very dangerous place. If nothing is done, my God, then someday all these students' questions are going to have to be answered. And who's going to answer them? The professors?

I wonder if there are students who support Pearce and his censorship bill. There must be. Do you? If so, please e-mail me. Am I saying anything un-American? I need to know just in case I need to find another job.

What about this: If only American values are allowed in the classroom, then I suppose European history will have to go. Asian studies? Scrapped. Can we still teach Spanish? Perhaps we should ask Mr. Pearce.

At some point, my argument starts to break down. Isn't it an American thing to be xenophobic? You know, quite a few Americans have been.

So, is racism an American value? Let's take a vote. Have more Americans been racist than not?

Oh boy, I must be getting to a point.

OK, Mr. Pearce — Russell: Let's strike a deal, a good 'ol American compromise. Your bill can stay, but you're going to have to define what you mean by "American values." I suggest you use the Bible — I'm sure you're familiar with it.

But do you know who Jesus was? He wasn't American. He wasn't rich. He knew no English at all.

In spite of all that, I should hope that he wouldn't mind if we appropriate his beatitudes for our American value system. One of the things he said was, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness." Are you OK with that? What about this one: "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy?"

And now, it seems I've told a lie — I promised not to define American values, and that's what I've just done.

According to my previous words, that's rather un-American. What is to be done?

Kevin can be reached by e-mail at: krking@asu.edu.